On Practice

Today was Shabbat, which is my rest day. But I realized while sitting in davenning (prayer services) that spiritual practice is called "practice" for a reason.

My experience in services today was kinda like my speed workout yesterday. At a certain point, I wanted to bail out, make excuses, take it easy, zone out. In a run, that translates to "I didn't get much sleep last night. Maybe I should just cut it short." In spiritual practice, for me at least, it's often, "I can't be present. My family needs me at home more than my religious community does. I should head home." In either case, life's demands and my own lack of focus on my goals get in the way of really attending to the work at hand. And the answer is the same in both situations: come back to your breath. Come back to yourself.

Mantras help me to stick with it, whether "it" is paying attention to prayer or keeping up my pace. There's a chant that we use during the High Holidays, "Return again, return again, return to the land of your soul." What worked to keep me knocking out those 1K repeats yesterday was less deep: "Oh, girl, dancing down those dirty and dusty trails, take it hip to hip, rockin' through the wilderness." Whether it's spiritual practice or athletic training, some days it's just about showing up, putting one foot in front of the other.

An elder in out community likes to remind us of the importance of not just kavannah (intention), but keva (that which is fixed -- liturgy, words). We have to show up for the fixed practice, what's in our prayerbook or on our training plan, if we're to have any chance to infuse our repetetive actions with the spirit that will flow into the rest of our day.